Tag Archives: will carroll

Will F**king Carroll Is Unpopular, Confused

These are actual tweets.

First:

So if I’m using a third-party Twitter client, am I not seeing DMs or not getting any the last couple days?

Second:

Ok. It works. Just wasn’t getting DMs. DM drought. Weird week, people, weird week.

I can feel Will’s pain here. Normally, general managers just send him a DM.

Predicting Strikeouts with Wh- zzzzz…

In his article today throwing down the gauntlet against FanGraphs (and their Swartzianly-boring writers), Matt Swartz penned some of his finest prose yet:

For every one percentage point above average in the previous year’s strikeout rate, the following year’s strikeout rate is likely to be about 0.73 percentage points above average. However, for pitchers with the same strikeout rate the previous year, a pitcher with one percentage point higher swinging-strike rate only will have a 0.12 percentage point higher strikeout rate, which is not statistically significant.

Fascinating!

He even included six really killer tables, including something I can only call a Super Table:

The Super Table

Even more fascinating!

But then Tango had to go and kind of spoil the fun.

Anyway, BP was really strong today, as Will F**king Carroll led with “One of the hardest things I have to do is explaining [sic] what I do.” How about something like, “I write about sports injuries”? But that wouldn’t capture that certain je ne sais quoi of Under The Knife.

He went on to say, “The outright arrogance of some statheads and the inability to market any of the tools they’ve developed have held things back.” Can’t… write… irony… too great.

This Post Brought to You by “The Unsubscription”

Are you sitting down? Because Will Carroll has a potentially revolutionary idea which he calls “the unubscription.” As I understand it, visitors to a site will be presented with a choice, either watching a sponsor’s commercial before getting to the content or paying a small subscription fee to avoid the ads.

It’s genius because it’s so simple. How has no one thought of this before? Will F**king Carroll is a man of ideas.

Twitter WAR (Wordplay!)

First, Will F**king Carroll noticed something strange about WAR:

WAR says Aubrey Huff better than Albert Pujols. Someone explain this to me.

Then R.J. Anderson noticed something strange about WARP:

WARP says it too; maybe Huff is better marketed

Finally, Patrick Sullivan settles the issue:

Hey if Jenn Sturger thinks Pujols is having the better year, it's good enough for me.

Will F**king Carroll, Force of Nature

On his personal blog, Will Carroll lays down this gem, “As a friend often says to me, I need to go back to being Will F**king Carroll, the guy who was a ‘force of nature.’” (Grawlix are his.) I’m stumped trying to come up with an explanation for that. So instead, I’ll just repeat what he wrote, “As a friend often says to me, I need to go back to being Will F**king Carroll, the guy who was a ‘force of nature.’”

In the very same post, we learn that Will F**king Carroll is writing a novel. Hell yes! He even throws in a backdoor brag on top of the frontdoor brag–that being the novel itself–writing, “[t]he idea has commercial potential, but this is a book I want to write.” Oh it’ll probably be a best seller but I’m writing it for my love of the craft. In an ideal world, it’d be titled UTK: The Novel, about a dubiously-qualified injury writer and his cuckolded wife.

Dr. Will Carroll, Sr. and His Wonderful Toupée

Dr. Will Carroll enjoys the love of his two female companions

These are all taken from an unknown Flickr gallery, by the way.

Dr. Will Carroll and two female companions

Dr. Will Carroll and one female companion

It appears Will Carroll the Younger has learned well from Will Carroll the Elder, in terms how to be seen/how to publicly humiliate your wife. Hats off to both of them.

Also, the cover to The Carroll Guide to Sports Injuries has the worst illustration of sports I’ve ever seen. Everyone associated it ought to be ashamed.

I Swear to God This Wasn’t Me

Bug Me Not results for BBTF